Jo~

JoJo 슬픈 음악이 흐를 때 널 생각해~

To those who don’t know how to read the above Korean phrase, worry not as it’s meant for my lord only. Yes, I repeat, it’s only for my LORD (I’m literally a slave, sad to say).

Her name is Jo and she’s a self-lover as well. Looking confident, sharp in words and a future doctor, she seems to be an arrogant person. Not to forget, she’s a big fan of Korean stars and spread Korean wave anywhere anytime. In front of others, she’s mean to me, often ‘kena tembak’ from her. She said I look like ‘ren yao’ and some words that seem insulting. We quarreled a lot too. Within a short journey from library to food centre which takes about 10mins, we could argue that long, from the moment we stepped out of the library’s main gate until we found a seat at the food centre. This sounds really bad isn’t it?

No, you are wrong. If you’re not a friend of both of us, you will have those thoughts. I don’t know whether will this brings bad response or people may think I’m exaggerating all this yet what I’m going to write are truly from the bottom of my heart.

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Ready?

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Message to Jo: I know I’m not a great friend to you. I don’t really know when you’re really busy and when you’re not. I don’t know when your heart ache the most, I don’t know what you really need when you’re down. Basically it means that I know nothing special about you and your life. In contrast, you’re always there for me. You console me when I was down, you let me know my situation when I was caught in maze. This may not sounds much but whatever u did means a lot to me. I had a lot of fun when hanging around with you. I can always be myself like how you told me to and always tell me nothing wrong for being like that. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being such supportive friend. I knew you’re facing stress over exams, hang in there pal! You’re doing really fine! Wish you all the best in your life and best of luck in exams! xxx

out of mind

3.06pm – Tuesday

It is pouring hard outside. The emo feel has just taken over my soul, leaving me expressionless in seconds. I felt hopeless. Out of sudden, tears strolled down my cheeks, weeping silently in my heart. Memories flashed through my brain. Hugging bear, slowly wipe my tears but it’s too late. It’s raining in the small crest of mine, just like the weather. Quietly and sorrowful.

a perfect getaway

It wasn’t a last minute trip like we used to have. We’ve planned this out with a little uncertain about where is the exact place that we’re going. In a group of five, we went to Gunung Keriang, a place famous for its crystals and landscape. Next to Gunung Keriang, there is a paddy museum. Until now, I’m not an outdoor person but Gunung Keriang really left me breathless. Standing tough from far, I did not see its beauty at all. As we moved towards it, it starts to fill us with excitement. I can’t describe it in words. Wow~!

After shopping, we head to Star Parade for brunch and the spot we picked, McDonald! With two GCBs, a fillet-o-fish, a spicy chicken McDeluxe and a double-cheese burger, our expressions are full of joy and happiness. I bet the main reason is PERLIS don’t have McD. Hahaha..

After lunch, it’s time to move some muscles, though I have muscles ache over some badminton match. Next up in to-do list, PLAY POOL! Finally my wish is granted. My last pool game was a year ago. I’m not a good pool player but I enjoy pool very much. For single matches, matches between kh and I results draw, kb won against me and kh won against kb. For doubles, due to the improper chaos that happened, I forgot the results. Anyway, it was a great two hours workout. Only a phrase to describe this trip, a perfect getaway!

hunch

I may not move from where I am staying now. Think positively, I climb up and down the ladder of a bunk bed numerous times a day may sounds fun but I worry my ankle and backbone. I like where I am staying currently. The housemates are cool, friendly and most of all we’re in different year, contributes no bathroom war in the morning. Yet still I hope for the best. *crossed fingers*

….

I felt that I am becoming more and more ‘small gas’. No more great buddies to hang out with just like previous years. Making the situation worse, I made a wrong decision, extremely wrong until I regretted very much what I did before. I had a hunch that brain washing activities are going on actively. Anyway, I am who I am except for being much honest than before. I realized something. Human feelings changed fast and I started to understand how time heals everything. The phrase does not mean that as time grows, your memory become poor and you forgot about the whole incident. The real meaning is human changes. For example, when you are in relationship, what vanished weren’t feeling but attitude. Today, you and your partner were in love and slowly after a few years, you noticed the person you used to love deeply weren’t there anymore. Of course the ‘new’ partner of yours begins to feel like a stranger to you and you sense that the love does not exist anymore. What follows next may be separation or divorce.

My friends aren’t friends of mine anymore. I believe those dear feelings that I used to hold has turned into dissatisfaction and slowly it dies off and when that happen, our friendship burns as well.

P.S : kindly excuse me for my poor writing skills. This is the pay back for not organizing what i want to express. sigh~

20th july 2010..

Things began to get worse after I took my evening shower. I walked here and there, trying hard to get my notes and lab sheets photocopied. While working hard, I did not notice that my back is screaming for help. The absent minded trait just freshly buried beneath me, all of the sudden I don’t know what to do. Looking stupid, I made frequent visits due to keep forgetting things. Ah~ I’m weak! It’s just the beginning of the semester, wonder what will happen to me next?

[and I’m so in love with lucifer! *evil laugh*]