scribble again..

yesterday i did something cruel.. i killed a cockroach.. well u may think it's normal to kill a cockroach isnt it..?? the problem is i dont whack it with shoes or anything else.. i didnt whack it.. so how did it die..?? i kicked it outside.. the usual response is it ran away.. while in the process of escaping, one of the 2cats waiting outside for food, captured it.. then u know la~.. it's kinda disgusting so ... .....
and i bought myself a gift.. went to kp's night market with yy..but i dont call that place nightmarket.. they dont have many things there, unlike penang.. ahh..!! head to batu ferringi for nightmarket... jjang!!


(my gift)


........................

(later in the afternoon....)

someone please kill me for god sake.. HOT..!! feels like living in hell.. i cant differentiate between virtual and reality.. often confused.. maybe due to lack of sleep.. no..i didnt torture myself.. i try to make myself sleep but at times i dont really know whether i sleep or not throughout the night.. and did i dream..?? everything seems so real.. i started to doubt am i living in the real world now... sighh.. well, im blogging now so that means things are real..? the hot feelings are real..?? i suppose...

.... (think hard)

おかいり。。

im back..! it feels good to be myself again... thx to grace..!! u're indeed my true friend.. xxx
busy preparing for finals now.. i shall work during the holidays.. then the problem arise, where should i work as..? should i be picky or simply do what there is..hmmmm... ok think about it later.. i should head to my dreamland now.. didnt really sleep yesterday... sighhh..

helpless..

i heard people saying "the best doctor in this world is yourself..only u know yourself best.."
the problem i faced now is I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPEN TO ME...!!! >.<''
all i know is i feel pain whenever i try to open my mouth and talk.. what make things worse are the my right ear and right side of my neck aches at the same time.. i tried not to talk much now.. due to im a person who talks alot in front of my friends, some started to think im weird when i did not talk.. i even reject incoming calls.. haha.. sounds ridiculous.. and thx to the troublesome throat, my voice got alot rougher than before.. i fits much better in guys' song now.. well, i kinda enjoy that actually.. haha..

(phrase to share: "life is like trying to sweep during windy weather.. if you concentrate only on the leaves before you, you can't manage.. but if you just guide the leaves in the direction the wind is blowing, it's surprisingly easy.. if you listen closely, you'll understand a lot of things..the world is not meant just to be looked at..it's important to get the feel of things..don't be captivated just by what's in front of you and neglect the rest..free your mind of evil and accept everything as it is..that is what we call enlightenment..")

人間。。(wish)

何は人間??　人??　何ている人間の違い??　感情?　ステータス?　又は外観と行動??　
[to those that don't understand, it's okay..!! nothing special about what i wrote in japanese..]

one month left.. no! to be exact, it's 25days left, i will be going home.. back to my comfortable life in Penang.. started my day by doing laundry.. gosh! in 5-6 days, i got 10 pieces of shirts to wash..i considered only top..what to do? the weather is extremely hot.. during the day, the whole kg y is a-free-outdoor-sauna place.. and i caught cold living in the extremely hot place.. genius huh?? and the cold comes in package, sore throat and neck-ache.. 0.o!! funny right..? neck ache..??
なぜ私は非常に弱いです??　理解することができない。。。 sigh~

looked through ming's blog.. reading the post one by one.. curious about many things.. then since im no mood to study, i did an extremely ridiculous thing..try out the post that she got tagged.. ming is right..! it is fun indeed though it is ridiculous.. ahaha..

there goes my weird answer..
IF SOMEONE SAY "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
我们的爱 FIR - ???
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
my little princess-acapella TVXQ - ==
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
phantom TVXQ - indeed..!!
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
paradise TVXQ - exactly..!! life span is short.. why don't enjoy every minute of life..?
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
the way you are TVXQ - just be yourself..
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
flower lady TVXQ - ??
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
i never let go TVXQ - yes..they're precious to me..
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
on & on TVXQ - what should i on..?
WHAT IS 2+2?
hug-chinese version TVXQ - 2+2=hug?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
rainbow TVXQ - yup..!! they're cool and pretty like rainbow..
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
prayer-xmas song TVXQ - errr....??
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
santa claus is coming to town TVXQ - ==''' does that mean i live a happy life..?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
keep the faith KATTUN - ??
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
super girl SUJU M - apa ni..??
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
seaside SMTOWN - what does this mean..??
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
we are~ TVXQ - waaa..didn't know that im such a big fan of anime..
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
ai senai ai shitai(i can't love you,i want to love you) TVXQ - the 1st song by tvxq that approached me and the last song that leaves me..
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
understand you TAEGOON FEAT H.EUGENE - you= my friends
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
clap TVXQ - bravo..!! my friends are interesting.. kekekkee
WHAT'S THE WORSE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
细味 SOLER - ....
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
runaway TVXQ - ??
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
sky TVXQ - too deep to understand..
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
box in the ship TVXQ - well it do make me laugh when i first listened to this..its cute..!!
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
like now TVXQ - :O
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
kotoba wa iranai(no words are needed) TVXQ - no comment
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
the one SUJU M - which one..??
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
carnival SUJU - ???
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
我們的紀念 李雅微 - memories.. (nod nod)
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
两只恋人 曹格 - love is a real gets-inside-u-n-rips-apart pain.. better stay away..
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
wish TVXQ - i did..!!

goodbye

goodbye lab test.. goodbye good grade for lab test..

.....

begin to think about life.. many things happened now reminds me about the past,the negative past.. i often asked myself,
"is it worth it to treat someone extremely nice while the someone treated u like a stranger..?"...
"don't u feel like a fool to treat someone well yet all your effort are not appreciated?"...
"what makes the bond between people..?"...
"can one's destiny be changed by his/her actions..?"...

am i the problematic one..? or i just demand too much..? most of the time, i choose not to think about the questions.. try not to, not to make myself down as i do believe luck comes to person who always smile..i miss myself.. i miss the cheerful me.. i miss the confident and full with individualistic me.. i miss the past.. and now i have to courage to move on..my future seems full with goodbye..

lifeless

living a suffocating life recently.. many tests to sit for, many assignments to do, many things to study and etc... the fact that exam is around the corner makes things worse.. make my mood worse to be exact..to make things even worst, i started to get possessive.. i tend to try to make something aren’t mine, mine.. i'm start making moves that would make me feel better and secured.. yet i can’t avoid certain things that give me heartache.. i’ll just have to bear with it.. the question is how long? there’s no answer to my question.. give up.. i wasn’t a determine person anyway..

changes..??

recently i just enjoyed monologue-ing.. many things bothering me now.. final is around the corner yet im not infected with the study virus.. and i found myself a place in ulu.. i really want to stay there.. that's the only way for me to stay near to my dearest.. overnight at your hostel is nice.. staying next to u make me feel warmer and much more secured.. as usual, we do not have girls' talk thing but you just made me feel calm by sitting next to you.. and thanks to you, im able to forget the feeling that i do not want to think of temporarily..thx cm *touched*..
AND im back in pg with MANGOES..!!! well, got some negative comments from mom.. she said, "it's expensive..! ... u should look properly before u buy..!!" ... but in the end, a phrase that comforts my heart,"it's sweet.. the mangoes and the effort.." *happy*
walked 3hrs nonstop for only one purpose..buy purezento..!! ahhh..!! i nearly explored the whole queensbay in 3hrs..while walking, have to think what to buy and where to go.. i just forced myself to buy something.. i dont have confidence when it comes to buy things or presents for friends.. logging off now..sleepy.. jya!!!


the mangoes i bought.. sweet~
..purezento will only be uploaded after owner gets it..